Back again...back to what you ask? Well, it does have a double meaning! Obviously, I'm actually posting again for the first time in forever (Oh why must I always do that and get a song stuck in my head!?). But, also, and more significantly, I'm back to having a baby again! Yup...should we really be surprised? Well, I for one was! We'll soon be sporting a half dozen little ones around in our Suburban. And yes, again, I'm just having one this time! My blog title will not be changing to triple twinning... (and I'm very relieved about that!)
So, that's the big announcement. Congrats and warm wishes and lots of prayers are welcomed! But can I use my own blog to vent a bit?
Announcing your sixth child (even if it's only your fourth pregnancy!) in our society is a bit like getting re-married for the 5th or 6th time,. At least in my surroundings. Here are some of the warm wishes my husband or I have received in response to sharing the news so far:
"Are you sure you know what you are doing?"
"Oh no...please tell me it's just one!"
"You know, you really need to get fixed."
"Are you guys crazy?"
"Ya, I still need to get the snip snip done too"
Ok, I have to admit there were a few positive responses from few friends that actually involved smiles instead of a full view of their tonsils, and even happy words, thank God! But many of the responses you see above came from the people closest to us. This is really depressing. It has been so hard to announce what should be happy news, because most of what we receive is either jeering or criticism or lamenting. Are we supposed to feel ashamed we are bringing another human into this world? Have we somehow made everyone else's life worse? Why is it that that those in our life who are supposed to be the most supportive and helpful can only criticize or shame us?
Were my husband and I totally planning for, prepared for, and anticipating this? No. Did we know and accept that it was a slight possibility based on our birth control choices and history of fertility? Yes. Does that make our lives a complete mess and failure. No! We are actually excited by this surprise, and feel that if the Good God above determined this is the best, most fruitful path for our lives, so be it. We are His. Does that mean there won't be devastating challenges and sleepless nights? Ha! We already know there will be. But welcome to life, where nothing worth doing is ever easy! Does that mean we don't need the love and support of our family and friends...of course we still do! So, family, friends, if you are reading this, please know that we love you and appreciate you, now more than ever! Please be with us and support, help and encourage us.We really don't need shame and criticism at this point in life.
And to you innocent bystanders out there reading this, if someone tells you that they're having their 5th, 6th or 20th child, I think you should say "Congratulations!" with a big smile on your face. If you really want to love on them, ask them, "How are you feeling about that?" and then talk through their feelings with them... instead of just giving them a piece of your own. And if you have a 5th, 6th or 20th child, then go right ahead and share your own heart and wisdom with them.
Ok, thanks for listening. I'll try to blog more while I'm on my pregnancy journey. Right now, Baby is due right at Christmas. Should be fun :)
